unhappy

another 2 more weeks to go before my technical training takes place. these hours and seconds left really needed to be spent wisely. balancing between family and friends is definitely ain't easy. for sometimes I prefer to be with my friends rather than with my family and vice versa. 

I'm really sad for the fact that I may not be going back to Sabah during this upcoming Hari Raya celebration because of the expensive and all time hiking flight ticket price. It kills me slowly everyday for I can't imagine how will I stand not celebrating Hari Raya with my loved ones. and perhaps I should avoid scrolling through my instagram feeds because I'm pretty sure that people will upload pictures of them enjoying their Hari Raya celebration next to their loved ones and I'm also really sure that I'll get jealous. 

currently waiting for my allowance to be banked in to my account. my friends say we should get the allowance by this week but I don/t really think that way though. hmm I seriously need money. 

bye. 

never like in the movies.

Because of my heavy procrastination, I am now in rusty and dusty state of mind. I can't really think fast and how to construct a good post. I'm getting really slow nowadays. And for that, I might have to write everyday so that my I can get back to my optimal 'brain-speed' (if that's even a word). 

I've seen too many movies that at some point in my life, I pretend like I'm in a movie. Not in those happy movies, but more to the sad ones. Usually in movies, they made it somehow a whole lot easier to find love and to keep love until eternity. I mean like two strangers bumped into each other and coffee spilled on both of them. Then both of them got really mad because at the same time they were late for work. After a few minutes in the movie, voila, they fell in love! From being mad towards each other, they suddenly got rid of the anger and fell in love with one another! And the next thing you know, they decided to get married! Don't you see it yet? How easy it is to find love in movies? 

However, if you wake up and open your eyes and come back to reality, it is NEVER THAT EASY! You get to go through loads kinds of problems and obstacles and dilemmas and complications and misunderstandings and many more to come! Can't you see that it ain't always the same as it is in the theaters? Hahh. That's why I kinda regret of watching too many movies and to believe in everything that I watch. At the end of the day, all of it were just lies and dishonesty. It's definitely hard to find love and to help it to remain as long as possible. I don't wanna talk more of this because this will just be my next never ending rants. 

Thanks for reading! 

xoxo

of night breeze and street lamps.

Now Playing on repeat - Fireside by Brett Bixby

I can't really remember when was the last time I go out to enjoy the night breeze, seeing the city lights, listen to good music, meeting good friends, hearing good stories, and most of all breathing in flavorful shisha. What I can recall is the feeling that comes along with the experience.

Being a semi-adult is one of the life-stages that is not easy to be dealt with. There are college pressure, relationship pressure, parents pressure, peer pressure, and life pressure. Yes, everything is about the never ending pressure. But what deviates all of us from being the same boring person is the way we compromise with the pressures. For some people, they would rather hurt themselves, thinking that it would make their problems a bit lighter. While some other would rather do it the healthier way, which is to talk to someone about their complications. And then here comes the people whom mix all of the methods together. What I'm trying to say is that they do it both sick and healthy way. I see these people as the 'inventive ones'. Don't ask me why because even I don't understand why did I label them that way. 

Okay enough with those illogical analogy that actually has nothing to do with what I wanna write now. 

During my high school years, frankly enough I was the naive boy. I did everything good and left everything bad. Or in other words, I was stupid and immature. Then, a few months after I left high school, a bunch of my friends introduced me to some 'horrible' activities. They convinced me (well I was curious too) to try shisha. And that was my first night out with friends without any parental advisory. 

At first I was kinda scared and anxious of how it would taste like and how it would affect my lungs. Plus, I think doing shisha is not a really healthy thing to do. But for the sake of my curiosity, I did it anyway. After my very first puff of shisha, I felt as if I was slowly floating into the air. Then right after a few sniffs, I started to feel so light and airy which made me sang songs that even I don't know it was in my repertoire. Hahaha but yeah all of my friends laughed hard at my lame reactions towards the gassy flavorful thingy. 

As I got deeper into the night, I realized about the wonders of the nightlife in city. You get to see the street lamps. You get to know how it feels like when the chilly night breeze hits your skin. You get to listen to good musics that you've never heard before. You get to see how do some people act at night. You get to know lots of new stuffs and live up to new experiences. That's how good it is to be outside of the house at night. 

It's not necessary for you to do shisha at night to feel the fascination of nightlife in city. And you don't really need to be with your friends. You can also be all by yourself to notice the bewilderment. 

So yeah, I think that's all for now. 

Open up your eyes and start looking for new experiences instead of being in the same old boring box.