Sunday, February 20, 2011

Love. ♥

Long time ago, when I was still a kid, I'd sworn to myself that I would not believe in love because it sounds very ridiculous. However, as I grew up, my curiosity about love also grew up. Especially when I saw my friends having somebody to love and someone to be on their side when they're down. Somehow, I feel very envious towards them. So, I broke the oath I made, and started to believe in love. It was weird because I didn't feel guilty of what I'm doing. Instead, I feel very happy because, at last, I opened up my heart to embrace love and affection.

As soon as I opened up to love, something miraculous happened. A girl confessed that she liked me very much and she thinks that I'm really cute and adorable and she wanted to have a relationship with me. At that moment, I didn't know what to say, or what to do towards her confession. I asked her to give me some time to think about her request. It took me almost 2 to 3 weeks to think about her request. It's not just about her request, but I had to know her internally and externally too. Eventually, I came up with a good news. I accepted her request and she was thrilled with my decision. I didn't tell anyone about our relationship and I'd wish that nobody would ever knew about it. After 2 years of being in love, suddenly, the barrier that protected our love collapsed. Sadly, we broke up on 12.3.2007. She told me that she wanted to focus on her UPSR. And, I let her go for good. Only then, my heart was shattered into a million pieces and I gave up on love because it hurts me so bad.

In 2009, I broke my oath again. I fell in love with someone I barely knew but I like her. As time goes by, I was deeply in love. Suddenly, someone told me that the purpose of this relationship was only to make someone jealous and the love that she gave me was not sincere. From that moment, I dumped her instantly, and neglected her for almost a year. But then, we became friends, but not close friends. And again, I sworn to myself that I would not believe in love. But this time, I really mean it. I don't think that I have such luck in love. Perhaps, I have so much luck in something else such as in my studies. :)

This year, 2011. I will not fall in love or be head over heels with anyone. Because I know, it will not last long. Like I've said, I have no luck in love at all. For me, single is indeed better than being owned by someone else. Frankly, I wouldn't keep my heart closed forever. But, when the time comes, I'll reopen it. And, I'm very sure that my heart will reopen after I finished my studies and have a very good job and have big amounts of money in my wallet or in my bank so that the person that I love will never starve for food. Yeah, I know, money is not everything and money can't buy love. But, everything needs money.

Well, until next time, goodbye bloggers and may you have a happy Sunday! XOXO