Thursday, May 12, 2011

Instant Crush.

She was sitting next to me. Talking about her love life, and the guy she really likes. I was trying to pay attention to what she was talking about but I just couldn't find the will to do so, because the glow in her eyes were too intriguing. I end up looking into her eyes instead of listening to what she said. Abruptly, she stopped talking and looked at me as if wondering what made me so focused towards her eyes. She took out a mirror and examined every inch of her face. Her movement startled me and I broke out of the fantasy in her eyes. Both of us smiled and laughed after a few minutes. While laughing, our eyes met each other as if it is attached through an invisible bond.
Since that sweet and mesmerizing moment, we became close friends. As time passes by, I finally realize that my tiny crush on her has just got bigger.

At first, I really thought that it was an instant crush but it turns out to be a long one. Every time I set my eyes on hers, I feel a cold rush inside of me. To be frank, I've never felt this way before. Usually, I would only receive a touch of excitement and then it would vanish automatically. But this time, the effects were different. I tried to not to look or talk to her for a day, and all I get was a huge change in my temperature, a hurtful headache and a decrease in weight. I spent days, thinking of a way to make this feeling run away or at least loosen up a bit without hurting her feelings and without making her think bad things about me. I did realize that she do realize about the major changes of how I treat her in public. I always run away from her and I seldom reply her messages. I felt so guilty about my actions.

After days of evading her, she finally asked me about my weird actions. I was speechless and I called her up. It was a 4 minutes call. All that I said to her was about my feelings towards her. She was okay with it and she broke my heart into a million pieces. All this time I thought that she is single, but luck was not by my side, she is not. At that moment, I really feel like a sucker who is trying to confess his feelings towards a girl who already has a soul mate. From that day, my feelings towards her decreased vigorously and right now, I don't think I still have feelings for her any more. Thanks to the Almighty, without His help, I don't think I could survive this pain.
Alhamdulillah. :)

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